Are You An Elephant of a Mom? : Hand Carved Stamp
When I say elephant I am referring to the large, in-your-face kind of person that stomps on someones feelings/or person. I never thought of myself as this type but my eyes have been opened. Recently, I started reading a book about relationships between mothers and sons but it can be applied to any Woman dealing with Men. It is based on the ‘Respect Factor’ that drives men. My husband and I have had several talks where he feels disrespected by something that I have said or done and I remember saying to him that was not my intention. Of course that put me a bit on the defense. But as I listened to this book, I realized it is not about the intended but the perceived.
Respecting the men in my life is a bit harder than I thought, as I tend to approach them with all the love and care that comes naturally to a woman. But I am learning that respect is all in how I talk to them. Instead of talking in a caring and loving way, I need to talk in a building up and affirming way. I guess that makes sense when I take into account their drive to save things, destroy things and prove themselves indestructible. They don’t want me stoking their hair and smothering them with kisses when they get hurt. They want me to talk about how brave they were or how proud I was they added another battle scar to their collection.
I have been challenged to use more of a filter in those frustrating mom moments and to make sure that I am not using words that will cause my men to think that I don’t respect them. This will be really hard for me as I am not very good with words and I tend to say a lot of words to try and make up for my lack of clarity and flow. I want a great relationship with my boys when they are older so I better start now.
So, instead of telling my son to go change his outfit because he looks like a vagabond (and because he has worn it two days in a row), I am going to work on saying, “I respect you to make your own clothing choice, but that shirt is dirty and the honorable thing to do is show up for school looking and smelling your best.” Haha, I tried to get the key words (respect and honor) in there like the book said. I can’t imaging myself responding like this without feeling foolish but I am going to give it a try. What can it hurt? And if it speaks to my boys in a language they understand than it is worth changing.
For those of you with sons or men in your life, any helpful tips on learning the language of respect?
Carving the Stamp
May’s carved stamp is an elephant getting ready for a party. I found a similar carved stamp online to use as my inspiration. This one was fairly simple but since I love elephants I decided to give it a go.
I made two very simple cards using this stamp as well as my HELLO stamp which you can see in my previous Stamp Carving Post. The backgrounds were made using only items from my table. So, nothing fancy. But they are flat enough to mail so that is a win for me!
I am sharing my beverage and joining the T ladies, hosted by Elizabeth and Bleubeard. Today’s tea is called Raspberry Champagne / Loose Leaf White Tea. It was gifted to me by my cousin for my birthday two weeks ago. All I can say is, this tea is delicious! It is a blend of White tea, safflowers with champagne and red raspberry flavors. I am not a drinker so I am unfamiliar with the taste of champagne but my nose picks up the raspberry flavor and it is SO fragrant. I suggest this to anyone that loves lightly flavored teas. And I must not forget to mention that this is perfect with chocolate on the side. I eat a bar of 85% dark chocolate from Aldi. It has the least amount of sugar available in chocolate aside from baking chocolate (yuck!). But these paired together make a fabulous low calorie dessert with loads of taste.
Happy Tea Day,