Are You An Elephant of a Mom? : Hand Carved Stamp
Elephant
When I say elephant I am referring to the large, in-your-face kind of person that stomps on someones feelings/or person. I never thought of myself as this type but my eyes have been opened. Recently, I started reading a book about relationships between mothers and sons but it can be applied to any Woman dealing with Men. It is based on the ‘Respect Factor’ that drives men. My husband and I have had several talks where he feels disrespected by something that I have said or done and I remember saying to him that was not my intention. Of course that put me a bit on the defense. But as I listened to this book, I realized it is not about the intended but the perceived.
Respecting the men in my life is a bit harder than I thought, as I tend to approach them with all the love and care that comes naturally to a woman. But I am learning that respect is all in how I talk to them. Instead of talking in a caring and loving way, I need to talk in a building up and affirming way. I guess that makes sense when I take into account their drive to save things, destroy things and prove themselves indestructible. They don’t want me stoking their hair and smothering them with kisses when they get hurt. They want me to talk about how brave they were or how proud I was they added another battle scar to their collection.
I have been challenged to use more of a filter in those frustrating mom moments and to make sure that I am not using words that will cause my men to think that I don’t respect them. This will be really hard for me as I am not very good with words and I tend to say a lot of words to try and make up for my lack of clarity and flow. I want a great relationship with my boys when they are older so I better start now.
So, instead of telling my son to go change his outfit because he looks like a vagabond (and because he has worn it two days in a row), I am going to work on saying, “I respect you to make your own clothing choice, but that shirt is dirty and the honorable thing to do is show up for school looking and smelling your best.” Haha, I tried to get the key words (respect and honor) in there like the book said. I can’t imaging myself responding like this without feeling foolish but I am going to give it a try. What can it hurt? And if it speaks to my boys in a language they understand than it is worth changing.
For those of you with sons or men in your life, any helpful tips on learning the language of respect?
Carving the Stamp
May’s carved stamp is an elephant getting ready for a party. I found a similar carved stamp online to use as my inspiration. This one was fairly simple but since I love elephants I decided to give it a go.
I sketched the image onto paper and than transferred it to my Speedy-Carve Block Printing Carving Block
I made two very simple cards using this stamp as well as my HELLO stamp which you can see in my previous Stamp Carving Post. The backgrounds were made using only items from my table. So, nothing fancy. But they are flat enough to mail so that is a win for me!
Tea Day
I am sharing my beverage and joining the T ladies, hosted by Elizabeth and Bleubeard. Today’s tea is called Raspberry Champagne / Loose Leaf White Tea. It was gifted to me by my cousin for my birthday two weeks ago. All I can say is, this tea is delicious! It is a blend of White tea, safflowers with champagne and red raspberry flavors. I am not a drinker so I am unfamiliar with the taste of champagne but my nose picks up the raspberry flavor and it is SO fragrant. I suggest this to anyone that loves lightly flavored teas. And I must not forget to mention that this is perfect with chocolate on the side. I eat a bar of 85% dark chocolate from Aldi. It has the least amount of sugar available in chocolate aside from baking chocolate (yuck!). But these paired together make a fabulous low calorie dessert with loads of taste.
Happy Tea Day,
Kate
I am absolutely sure yoor men will LOVE you forever! This book sounds great! I have no son but I have the second hubby meantime and I can agree with all your wrote about respecting them. They are all little heroes and need all the admiration we can give so that they can do their magic … just wise woman are able to handle them . The best is to handle them all as our sons!
Happy T-Day dear Kate !
Just got the comment od Sharon –
Sharon MadsonTuesday, May 21, 2019
Happy T Day! A message from Elizabeth: Elizabeth’s power is off. She wants you to know that the TSFT post will be up as soon as she is back online. I will try to let rest know. Thank you!
Big hugsm, Susi
And so exciting about your words about the book and your thoughts that I totally forgot to tell you how beautiful this stamp turned out and how much I love this unique project you created with it! WOW!!!! You are a wonderful artist Kate!♥♥♥
Happy T day Kate. Men are tricky, aren’t they? And I love the elephant stamp. It is really awesome. Hope it’s a good day. Hugs-Erika
Hey Kate! Sounds like a great book. I feel like mothering a son (or sons) is a learning process, just like raising daughters. I’m definitely not saying I have all the answers, but I’ve learned a few things. The childhood years are pretty easy compared to the teenage years and beyond. Several times in the past several years, I’ve asked him to be patient with me since, as the oldest, he’s my guinea pig. First to graduate from high school and leave for college (I was a wreck), first to get engaged, and first to marry. I’ve told him to remember that I’m in uncharted territory with all his stages, and his dad and I are learning to be parents of an adult while he learns what kind of adult he’s going to be. Mistakes are made, but God is merciful, and these mistakes make it easier when I face a similar situation with my girls,; and then I have three to fail and succeed with and learn, as we navigate through life. It’s so rewarding to see your children grow into the person whom God will use. Kinda like “this is the moment we’ve been training for”. So thankful God helped me teach my children, He forgave me when I failed, and He is faithful throughout. They are truly the Joys of my life!
It is a fantastic hand carved stamp Kate, The image is so cute with the dotty ears and pointed hat. The page looks great.
I have two sons and am blessed that we are a very close and happy family. They don’t live at home ,, they visit at least once a week and regularly phone.
There isn’t a formula for bringing up boys , I found it was better to look at each day when it arrived. and always end the day with a smile and a hug.
Happy T day wishes Kate.
Yvonne xx
I’ve never had much luck with stamps, and I’m quite impressed by the one you made here. What a perfect reminder of the relationship information you’ve learned. Your teas always look so _pretty_! Happy T Tuesday 🙂
Your elephant stamp is delightful. Boys are always a handful to handle, my grandsons were little terrors when they were small, and are now sensible (mostly) grown men. Happy T Day, hugs, Valerie
Wonderful card and stamp. You carved that darling stamp? I’m in awe, Kate.
I instinctively always talked to my husband in an affirming way – unless I was angry I guess – lol. But I found it very difficult with our son. Good luck with that. We moms just do our best and our son turned out okay despite me.
Happy T-day! Eileen xx
Having three boys – with not many years in between them wasn’t so bad! I think they realised I respected them because I asked them to do little tasks and left them to it! Sometimes it wasn’t always how I had expected it to be done but they always knew they had been trusted! The best thing is that they grew up as friends and still have outings together – even though G and G have to step in with care of Grandchildren! I think gentle guidance is the key – sometimes I see children being allowed to misbehave in public in the guise of ‘giving children independence’! I adore your elephant carving and the cards you made! Happy T day! Chrisx
your elephant stamp is so cute, and I love what you did with the corrugated cardboard on your art piece!! I haven’t read that book, just did the best i knew how bringing up a son and only child. Hubby and I muddled through at times, but it all came out beautifully and we three are very, very close. I think every family and dynamic is unique and you just have to do what works best for you and your personal relationships. And your tea- I would love a cup of that:) Happy T day!
Your teas always look sooo delicious! I love your hand carved stamps-you do such nice work with those. I have never been a Mom except to birds and pets lol so I am no help-but sounds like being diplomatic with your boys should work-hugs
Happy T wishes Kathy
It’s a great lesson learned, dear Kate. I totally agree with what you learned in the book. It only takes one unkind comment to hurt someone, yet it takes at least 10 reassuring comments to boost and bolster the ego (ANY ego, even yours, dear).
LOVE that stamp. You are SO talented and that card is wonderful. I also loved the raspberry white tea you shared with us. I see another person finds Aldi a good place to shop (grin). Thanks for sharing this wonderful stamp, the card, and your tea with us for T this Tuesday. Also loved how you shared your feelings, too, dear friend.
Such great advice, thanks for sharing 😊. Communication is important and I sometimes forget that people are wired differently so I need to adapt my communication style, there is so much to learn and we don’t realise that we are being unkind until it’s too late sometimes. Your party elephant is super cute and I love the artwork that you created – beautiful! The tea sounds yummy too, Happy Tea Day! Jo x
That book sounds amazing! I can totally identify with all the things you said. On my must read list immediately.
The elephants made me smile. In my math and science classes when my students don’t label their answers with the unit such as cm or miles or whatever, I always ask them 24 what? Elephants? It makes them smile and also remember their labels.
Happy T day!
that book sounds really interesting, i loved reading your post!
and about elephants: they are super sensitive – and your carving turned out great:)
have a wonderful week
Your elephant stamp and artwork is lovely. The tea looks delicious. I have problems communicating what I mean, so sometimes what I meant isn’t how people hear it. That book you got sounds helpful, because it really is all about how our words are perceived, and not how we meant them to sound. Happy T-Day!
Your carved elephants are wonderful. Interesting concept about dealing with many. In my other life before art took over, I was a computer programmer and worked/competed mostly with men. I found the best language is to be direct. No hints. No hidden meanings.. No build up with small talk. Just direct and too the point. Your tea looks very pretty. as to chocolate, we were introduced to a brand called Lily’s Chocolate. The chocolate is sweetened with Stevia and not sugar so far fewer calories. There are several dark chocolate varieties. , Almond, Coconut,,Krispies, Dark. I’m not a dark chocolate fan so there is a Milk Chocolate version. and also a Salted Almond that I like. Mu grocery store carries it, though it sometimes sells out fast. Price Chopper/Market32 Happy T Day